PATRIOTIC GUARDS

Since they had made me a party member, I had to keep patriotic guards. There were two or three of us, together with a militia officer and a conscripted military man who was probably sent by the Securitate. We had to spend the night walking around, allegedly in order to keep public peace and order. Nothing ever happened, except some brawl, some fight or some conversation on the transmitter with the other guardians. The night was wasted on stupid rambling. This won you one free but unpaid day.

Things could be arranged, though. One bottle of brandy given to the comrade who made the lists, could save you up to one year of guards. Otherwise, you were on duty every two or three weeks. And you wondered how could it be that the 5000 employees of your institution covered the guards so poorly that it was yet again your turn. But finally I learned. I?d give him the bottle or several packets of cigarettes and he?d say: ?It?s not yet your turn. Next.? (A. M., 115)

The TV station wouldn?t let a day pass without broadcasting so called ? patriotic? poems, recited by well-known actors, who did nothing but sing the praises of Nicolae and Elena Ceausescu. I knew some of these actors personally, I knew their feelings toward the party and its leader and I couldn?t understand why they accepted to compromise. Couldn?t they avoid humiliating themselves?

Of course, one could have avoided all this. The moment I felt I couldn?t go on, I said, Mr. Amza Saceanu, I cannot go on, I am sick. He answered, Keep going, comrade Stanescu! I am sick. Keep going, comrade! I didn?t trust Amza Saceanu, but I knew he wouldn?t go and tell that Stanescu was sick. He couldn?t have told this, because they would have taken him.

Cornel Todea helped very much, God bless him, he skipped me lots of times. At a certain moment I realized one could say no, too. Then, if we let our beards or moustaches grow, we weren?t accepted anymore. (P. P., 143)

One could find subterfuges. They only called me once at a gala show, at the Palace Hall. At the casting, I pretended to have forgotten the lines, I stammered so they rejected me. The same happened to George Constantin. (P. P., 152)

In spite of all that, the patriotic poems were told up the last moment. Let?s not forget that, in the morning of 22^nd December 1989, the Television was just filming the New Year?s Eve show. I am certain there were enough actors who did not have the flair to refuse reciting poems of love and gratitude for the couple who was just about to disappear. (129)